She had big dreams when she was little. She expected to be seen and heard and be something special & Yes – that she would be famous. That her life had made a difference.
Now, she is in the upper middle class with sufficient income to spare. She is Middle-Aged. To everyone else, she appears to have her stuff together. She has a ready smile, but the smile does not quite reach her eyes. A look into her eyes suggests she is lost, lost & sad, lost, sad, and lonely. Life did not quite turn out as expected.
She looks wistfully at the bubbly girls in the cafe and wonders where her bubbly went.
She finds herself getting really irritated at her friends & family who make statements such as “ Of course you are important. You are a mother. You are a wife. You have a good job!” It is as if all of her dreams never mattered. Now, she is supposed to only care about the other people. OMG – that makes her so mad & she feels frustrated and very sad. Is it too late? Is her only option to live out her dreams vicariously through her kids & husband?
Looking from the outside, she has no reason to be frustrated. She has a “good” life.
No one knows that she spends several nights sobbing for her lost dreams. Even worse, she resents everyone around her. She dares not let this frustration show – she does not want to hurt her kids or husband. But she knows it is felt – her husband especially has felt her disengagement. She is stuck. She does not know where to go & who to turn to. She has listened to several podcasts about finding her purpose & read “ Big Magic” & Eat, Love, Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert. She cannot do stuff like that, though. She cannot just up & leave. She does not even know if she cares to approach a coach about this. She has dipped her toes into the coaching world. Done some online courses, free webinars, etc. She just has not taken any big steps. Just the thought of sharing these feelings & wanting to do more with her husband feels terrifying. What if her perfect, idyllic picture book life ( at least from the outside) fell apart? What if she did something stupid? Deciding not to do anything feels like death, though & doing something is terrifying.
Do you recognize this person? Are you feeling stuck? Do you think you are alone fighting with these demons of dissatisfaction? Are you spending nights sobbing about your lost dreams? OR Are you afraid to even admit that you had dreams?
I want you to know that you are not alone!
I started my podcast ” This Is Your Time to Shine.” to show you that you are not alone. Listen to get your shine back because This IS your time to shine. In this podcast, I talk to women who have lived this and found ways out of this dilemma. Some blew up their life, but many did not. However, it worked out, they resolved it, and in these conversations, we talk about how they did that. If the lady in the vignette above spoke to you, this podcast is for you.